Electronic dance music is still something that you have to find,” Raddon says. “It’s not on the radio, it’s not on TV. These people really had to search me out.” And the sense of shared community this engenders cannot be overstated. Ten years ago, the dance music scene was finely sliced into such an interminable array of genre divisions that it became a joke: aquatic techno-funk, down-tempo future jazz, goa-trance, hard chill ambient, techxotica, and so on. In the past decade or so, though, despite all the ways that the Internet encourages music to nichify, the rise of social media has actually pushed electronic dance music in the opposite direction. Witnessing its sheer numbers, sensing its collective power, the dance scene has reunified, becoming more of a mass phenomenon—an undifferentiated subculture of millions. It turns out that the thrill of collective identity, a moblike feeling of shared enormity, is far more exciting to fans than were their endless dives down rabbit holes of sonic purism.

This is interesting, and what I’d like to ask readers, is how has social media changed your entertainment consumption habits?  For me, I think  it has increased the depth of my consumption, but it has whittled down the breadth.  Let me use TV and music as examples.

My TV viewing habits–I don’t have Cable, I refer to “TV” generically here–used to be more random than they are now.  Right now, 90% of stuff that I watch is sports, documentaries on astronomy & nature, and Japanese anime. That’s pretty much it—once in a while I might get caught up in watching something else like when I finished the entire series of Heroes in one and a half weeks, or Spartacus, the best show on TV bar none.  However, within the stuff that I do watch, there is more variety.  I don’t listen to R&B, country, alternative, reggae,  gospel, etc music at all, they compose like probably 1% of what I listen to, whereas before I would be more liable to experiment. It’s just that because of media like youtube, when I’m constantly discovering new shit within my preferred genres, namely Hip-Hop, House, Drum’n’Bass and Chill, the variety within those genres that I’m exposed to pre-Social media is a lot more.

One effect I want to avoid though is becoming an entertainment snob. A music snob who wont’ listen to Lil’ Wayne just because he’s on the radio rather than because his voice is annoying, not because he’s on the radio, or hate Gucci because his music is retarded, not because he’s getting play (by the way this notion that music has to be “deeply philosophical and thought-provoking” I don’t know where it came from).  Snobbery is something you see a lot of in Japanese anime, there’s people who pose like they will not touch any English animes (called ‘dubs’ in the anime subculture). WHY? Because they’re purists, and of course Japanese is better and more real.  Now that might be true but how would they know? This gets back to the rabbit hole of purism that is referred to in the snippet from the Wired article above.  Social media goes beyond creating fanboy-ism (harmless) and can start creating tribalistic and cultish behaviors (more alarming).

The other thing that I didn’t get into before going off on the tangent is whether you agree with the Wired article.  Is Social Media a unifying force, or is it a divisive one? An argument can be made for both but what is your experience?

Now the Four Seasons was a little more expensive than an hotel I’d typically stay at, I did stretch a little. My thinking for this trip though was I’ll pay a little more, and in the end it paid off. Outstanding service and attention to details, just like pickup at the airport I never had to worry about anything at all.  I wouldn’t always travel in such luxury, I think part of the charm of travelling is also the street level hustle-n-bustle that backpackers experience. There’s virtues to both I guess.  But yeah, the Four Seasons at the Nile Plaza is at a central location in Cairo, and it overlooks the Nile river.  Memphis would pick us up and drop us here every day that we were there.

Cairo is a crazy city, it is a dense city that takes a while for your mind to adjust to–for me it was more of an urban setting than even New York, in New York or a Hong Kong stuff is ordered, and more predictable.  Cairo is ‘organized chaos’  and is actually like a hyper-version of Nairobi, so it’s a good thing that I’d visited Nairobi first as I think it prepared me. It has got to be the toughest city in the world to drive in. Lanes? What Lanes. Traffic lights are ignored. Every car has scratches and dents, that’s just how they roll!  

We didn’t waste time getting onto our agenda, at night on the day of our arrival we started out with the Sound and Light show at the Pyramids. I wanted to see the Pyramids at night first, plus it was a chill way to get into the flow of things. On the way back we stopped by Tahir square, which was near our hotel. For me as a student of international relations, it was a memorable occasion. I chatted with a young gentleman who had been part of the revolution in Egypt–it was surreal to do that and then buy some Hardees (the French fries were actually the ‘excuse’ that I’d used to get us into Tahir square).  By the way I didn’t feel unsafe there–again I’ll get to this at the end. 

The next day, Memphis took us on a full day tour of the pyramids at Giza and the surrounding areas that included the ancient capital of Egypt. They provided us with a very knowledgeable tour guide (for the whole trip we had the tour guide, and also the coordinator who’d met us at the airport).  Because we were touring with a company, getting into sites was smooth, we didn’t have to worry about anything.  Highlights from day one included the pyramids, and the majestic statue of Ramses. 

I admit, I was afraid at one point in my life–after I returned from Rome, Italy, that that had been such a peak experience that I’d never have that much fun again. Memorable as it was, that was the wrong approach to have, and was proved wrong by the new memories created in Kenya and Egypt. This has taught me to smile and cherish good times, but to not despair when they end as the future holds new adventures.

Time does seem to stand still when you see these wonders of the world.

It was not just the major landmarks that were a highlight, but also we went to a carpet school and a perfumery.  When I travel, in addition to the touristy things, I try to get some street-level unique experience that is representative of everyday culture, and chatting with people at the carpet school and perfumery were highlights in this regard.  We were able to vibe with the people, and hear them–they’ve been hit hard by dip in tourism to Egypt which was unfortunate to hear. 

Day two was the Egyptian museum in the morning.  In there I saw more gold and ancient statues than I ever had before, and to imagine that is just the stuff that was found! Who knows how many more treasures there left to discover.  The afternoon focused on religious landmarks.  We visited the imposing Citadel in Islamic Cairo, and then after that we saw two important churches in coptic cairo–including the church in which the holy family (jesus, mary & joseph) fled from King Herrod. It is humbling to visit places like these–Egypt is so much more than just the Pyramids as I found out. 

I first learned of this in the movie "Kingdom of Heaven" (the one with Orlando Bloom)

Our last day was something special.  We did a “Desert Safari“. By the pyramids. At the edge of the Sahara desert. Now you know everyone does the camel at the pyramids, right? But this is a lesser known secret. What an adrenaline rush, I’ve never been as pumped, the desert safari was basically us riding and RACING on sand dunes in the desert on ATV motorbikes, with the pyramids as a backdrop.  Those three hours felt like thirty hours, it was such pure bliss.  If you ever go to any country in North Africa or the Middle East, be sure to do a desert safari. 

So that was the end of the trip, Memphis dropped us of later, and they played a big part in making this trip memorable.  The coordinator and the tour guide were both outstanding.  On Egypt, there were a few observations:

- It is cheap! It’s a very affordable country to visit.  I’d come from Nairobi, and I found Kenya to be much more expensive.  In fact I’d be surprised if there is a cheaper major world city than Cairo. 

- The media has definitely overplayed the safety situation.  It is not unsafe there.  Unless one planned to take part in protests, there is nothing to fear.  Take chances in life! There’s a million reasons not to do anything, but don’t let doubt and fear ruin the opportunities.  The hotel was not at capacity, and many of the sites had about half the tourists they normally would.  This made it better for us to get around, but then many people are missing out on a great time. 

Hope this has resonated with others that have been to Egypt! For those that are planning a vacation and looking for a place definitely consider there! Egypt becomes the 2nd country on my list of countries that I’ll visit again in my lifetime (the other one being Italy). 

Time seems to stand still when you’re out in the sands by the pyramids, truly one of the wonders of the world.

Poverty

There is a lot of poverty in Nairobi.  A lot of slums all over the place, perhaps I’m using the word loosely here–but its challenging for me to describe places I saw in any other way (I should have taken more photos).  Anyway, Nairobi has the Kibera slums, one of the largest in the world. Other than a few suburban havens, you’ll see the poverty everywhere mixed in with regular life.  I drove to my cousins place in the other end of town once, and then at night at another time to another cousins, and was dazed looking out the window.  In fact, the family house was an example of such a place–it is in a nice area of Nairobi (Westlands), yet behind the large backyard, there was a  slum. The district office where I went to obtain some documents had people living at the back of the compound in “city huts” (basically makeshift housing, no electricity–but not mud houses with straw and mud–you see lots of this in Nairobi).

This is the most extreme example, Kibera, one of the largest slums in the world. However, smaller scale setups like these can be found in many places in Nairibo.

Backyard of the family house in Nairobi, Kenya. There's a small slum behind it.

While I’m discussing slums here, I’d like to stress that I’m talking about the environment (compared to the sanitized Washington DC environments), and financial status.   There was not a sense of anarchy, gang-warfare, or anything.   While I’ve been told Nairobi has a fair share of carjackings and robberies, but for me it is not that because of the poverty there was an underlying sense of terror everywhere.  Life goes on.  These slums/poor outposts (I’m not finding a way to accurately describe them!) had restaurants, enterprising businesses, clubs, etc.  In Nairobi this is part of the environment. But I didn’t detect that people were *suffering* or waddling in misery necessarily–if anything I found the whole vibe there to be LESS stressful than here in DC.  I think many who participate in OWS protests don’t know how good they have it frankly, much stress here in the US is because of a sense of entitlement and self-created but I won’t get into that here.

Organized Chaos

Another aspect of Nairobi was what I’d describe as organized chaos. I say chaos because relative to home here in Washington DC, things are not as ordered and predictable. This is seen in various ways such as architecture, roads, driving, police behavior, etc  As described above with the slums, there is no zoning really.  Apartment complexes spring up anywhere…..you’ll see Korean and Japanese restaurants in residential areas (also with the same fences and gates).    For example, everyone wants money for everything they do–the guard at an an embassy wants money, the guy that helps you at the airport load your bag wants money, etc etc. People there have learned to live with it, they get to learn the rules, how much to give, when not to give, etc.  It’s a reinforcing cycle as sometimes you’ll have to give a little just to make sure for example the parking attendant doesn’t vandalize your car, but doing that solidifies his expectation and so on.  This is not ideal, but if nothing else, at least it is open and known in the open.  The driving in Nairobi is crazy, but not nerve-wracking like in Cairo which I’ll write about in the next blog.  I’d say it’s about the same as in Italy, where I found the driving tough too.

Just like the West

Despite such difference, in other ways it’s just like any other city I’ve lived in.  Some nightclubs are playing house music.  There’s LG outlets with the latest flat screen TVs.  There’s coffee hangout spots like Starbucks (called Java House there). Basically, if you have the money, there’s nothing you can’t find.  This might seem like something obvious to state, but its easy to get caught in perceptions of places that are not classified as “advanced nations”.  Again life goes on.

In ending I strongly I recommend that if you live in a Western city, that you do your best to travel to a non-western city at least once in your life.  It’s eye-opening to see how others live.  Grateful to live in Washington DC, appreciate the people and the circumstances that have made it so. Also I had a blast in Nairobi, catching up with cousins and old friends–interesting how it did not feel like I’d been away almost 20 years, I think this is because of facebook, which has eliminated barriers of distance. There’s a lot more to Kenya than all of this, but this was just a sampling of observations I had, feel free to drop any observations in the comments.  Hope to share reflections on the Egypt leg of the trip within a week– look out for it!

Their list is:

15. Allow us to remove USB drives without “ejecting”.  14. Stop crashes. 13.  End Passwords 12. Reduce the size of electronic box entertainment machines  11. Ditch instructions  10. Fix self-checkout machines 9. Make cars anyone can drive. 8. Fix the gmail spam filter  7. Let us keep text messages “as new”.  6. Settle on one AC adapter plub  5. Make auto-flush toilets that are gentle and not creepy.  4. Make auto-correct current with the times 3. Stop our inboxes from filling up 2. Eliminate the “reply all” gaffe and 1. Text message filter.

I agree with some of the stuff, like passwords–you should be able to designate IPs or machines from which the site can remember you.  That might be a security problem for some though.   Some of them I disagree with, as for me technology is for making life more straightforward, but shouldn’t be for making you lazy or for making life boring–like here I strongly disagree with the cars.  Some of those gadgets and bells are nice, a car is a toy after all, so I don’t find fancy cars a problem in that regard.  Granny can always drive a Toyota Corolla or Honda Accord (BTW, is the Toyota Camry the most boring car around?).   The stuff like inboxes filling up is laziness, it just takes organization to organize your inbox, the problem is people have ADD and they multitask (multitasking is vastly overrated) and then they let the inbox get out of hand but that’s their fault.  With rules, filters and labeling this one is on the individual.  Some of it is organizational, like in the workplace people really should move towards instant messaging (IM) for a lot of routine correspondence.  Too many “ok thanks!”  or worse, body-less e-mails with the question in the subject line.

Audi A6 Interior -- It's ok if "granny" can't drive this.

There’s some tech stuff that I’d like to see.  I’d like to see the following:  Cellphone batteries on smartphones that last 2-3 days on one charge, traffic lights that read actual traffic (can this cause accidents?), HD media with menu options like a bluray player (basically no more need for DVD/Bluray players).  There’s more that I might update if I think of.

Most importantly, where are the flying cars!

Sarah Palin is not ‘dumb’, nor is GOP presidential candidate Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R).

Former President George Bush wasn’t stupid despite all the ‘dubya’ stuff.  We have to remember being smart is not the same thing as being intellectual i.e. academic intelligence .  While we’re on academic intelligence, I feel it is vastly overrated.  Unless one is a high-level policymaker, or they are in the academia, academic intelligence is not really a requirement.  Note that I said policymaker, not manager.   CEOs, Directors, managers, Presidents, Kings, Ministers, etc do not need AI, they need to know how the world works and how to get things done.

There are other facets to being intelligent—emotional intelligence, social intelligence, financial intelligence, technology intelligence, artistic intelligence, and leadership.

Emotional intelligence is how mature you are, your temperament, and how you handle unexpected situations.  Social intelligence is how effectively you relate with others and the connections you’re able to make.

• Financial intelligence has two parts to it—first an ability generate and manage money, but also the ability use the finances you already have at this time in a way that removes stress from your life.
• Technological intelligence is something I don’t’ see talked about often.  It doesn’t mean being a techie or a geek, but basically how comfortable you’re able to familiarize yourself with basics of 21st century realities like touch screens, electronic forms, social media, etc.
• Artistic intelligence is the ability to create something tangible that evokes a positive emotional reaction in others.
• Last is leadership, which is somewhat a combination of emotional and social intelligence, but I think it’s a little different in that this involves other skills such as conflict resolution, and being able to sell a vision.  This type of intelligence is a little unique in that you can’t have leadership intelligence if you don’t have emotional and social intelligence. Anybody who will ever be a coach, parent, leader, etc needs some sort of leadership intelligence to be effective.  For me people who have a following by default have some basic, adequate level of leadership intelligence.

In society there is a bias towards academic intelligence, and to devastating effect, peers, and schools fail to cultivate, encourage or recognize the other forms of intelligence—consider the infamous ‘easy’ Communications or History degrees, that are viewed with contempt by many studying Economics or Engineering.  In our society it’s all about where you ranked in your law class, whether you have a Ph. D., what you got on your SAT, your GPA, etc. All that is impressive indeed, nothing wrong with them, but it’s not the only measure of one’s intelligence.

Kim Kardsashian is....brilliant??!?

Nobody who has a large following, who has and keeps a lot of money, or who has considerable influence and credibility in some area can possibly be dumb.  It is not possible. Along with the politicians, I am including entertainers—even rappers like Lil’ Wayne, or pop stars like Lady Gaga, or “socialites” (can we bury that word?) like Kim Kardashian.  All of these three examples are brilliant people IMO. 

Going to school at Harvard means you’re very academic and intellectual, but conventional wisdom wrongly assumes that it also it means that you are automatically smarter than someone else who didn’t go to an elite school—or who didn’t even go to school at all.

Not so.

some robots have PHds

We are robots.

Now some of that is necessary, you don’t want to have to think yourself to sleep, or to sneeze or to have to go to the bathroom.  It’s good if it just happens. That’s biological, but even psychological, if you automatically recoil from loud noises, or feel your heart beating if you’re surrounded by an encroaching mob with bats—all of this automation is desirable.

Nonetheless, it is striking how little we think for ourselves or make our own decisions.  How often do we do something just because we can?

This is not about being a pretentious contrarian, or an anti-establishment anarchist.  What is more interesting for me is realizing how little we actually think for ourselves about what we believe in, what we’re told and what we do.   This can be in regards to large scale authority-social-establishment issues, but it can also be trivial small things that one believes in firmly, for example:

- You can only eat cereal in the morning.  Says who? And what if you have a bowl at 6:00 pm, what will happen?

- Why does “fuck” or “cunt” offend you but “gosh darn it” and “stupid fool!” don’t?

- Do you only get hungry at 12pm or 1pm? Why can’t you eat at 11:00 am or 2:00 pm? I bet you 90% of people in offices have never even tried to go to lunch at 2:00 pm because “everybody goes to lunch at 1”.

- Is it true that you can’t go out on a Tuesday or Wednesday night?

etc etc

Or on more broader issues, consider:

- Why is alcohol legal but marijuana isn’t?

- How are you sure that Mohamed/Jesus/Buddha/etc hold the absolute truth but that Mohamed/Jesus/Buddha etc don’t?  Is it primarily because of how you were raised?

- Why are you embarrassed if someone sees you naked or if you see someone else naked?  Why are you just fine in a bikini but you’re flustered in underwear yet it’s the same coverage?

- I’m sure you know of some beleifs people were certain of hundred years ago that are now flat out wrong or completely irrelevant.   How sure are you that none of your pillars of belief today will not go the same way in a hundred years?

etc etc..

In concluding—how often do we expose ourselves to viewpoints that challenge our world-view?  You don’t have to get in deep this can be 5 minute skimming of an article presenting a position you disagree with, listening to a speech, etc.   I think it is good to question.  To ask questions.  And again I’m not saying to be a weirdo, don’t kill the vibe when you’re out at the club talking about philosophy and quantum mechanics for god’s sake.  Also don’t take regular and consistent questioning to mean you should ‘worry’–don’t get all brooding and miserable. For me this kind of thing actually frees me and makes me less uptight.

So remember asking questions will develop independence, it enriches one’s life, and for the trivial stuff it adds variety and adventure to your life!

PS. Two great books on this are Prometheus Rising by Anton Wilson which I’m just finishing and Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina who has a lot of comments on personal power and responsibility.

I have finally been able to articulate something, and here are a few guidelines of the moment to which I aspire to live buy.

1.Do not be a bitch. Do not be a punk.

Basically what I mean by this is that I want to be dependable, and add value to friends.  I don’t want to be  unreliable, and I don’t want to be someone that diminishes others i.e. someone that is just not able to let others shine.  This can be subtle.  For example consider the following scenarios:

• You’re with a group of friends and someone tells a captivating story and you immediately jump in to steal the thunder. “oh, that’s nothing. Look what *I* did….” etc.
• You’re out with a guy friend that is running game on a girl that you also kind of like, but so far he has the upper hand.  It is time to say goodbye, and instead of being a good sport and leaving them alone for their “final” goodbye, you hang around lingering as the third wheel.
• You’ve committed to going to a party with your boy, and you decide not to go out for no good reason at the last minute.  Because it’s raining or something irrelevant like that.

Basically looking to suck attention away from others to yourself is being a bitch, and being unreliable–not coming through when you said you would is being a bitch, and chronic oneupsmanship is being a bitch.

2. Money? Not a problem.

I am not “rich” at all but I believe finances is about not only the literal physical amount of money you have, but also your state of mind towards it.  I want to avoid a state where my day to day activities are motivated by the checkbook.  That means that I am avoiding  penny-pinching.  It means that if give my friend $20 for $16 movie tickets and he hasn’t given me back the $3 change it’s not keeping me up at night.

Also this means that I’m not dismissing good ideas immediately just based on money.  For example, if someone asks me “Let’s go to the beach in a few weeks”, and I immediately reply or think, “Nah.  I’m broke”.   I am not saying to be careless, but money shouldn’t be the reason that one doesn’t dream imaginatively, and enjoy their every day lives.

Lastly on this note, it’s about freeing yourself from self-imposed shackles.  I figure if one obsesses over dollars, they’ll certainly obsess over thousands or tens of thousands of dollars, so even when you have money you’ll be caught up in the same thought pattern.

3. I am not a woman.

I’m not a female.  Women are different than men (they really are—I mean do guys go to the bathroom in pairs?). I like being a man and would prefer to be generally more masculine than I am feminine.  That means I will not gossip, be moody, be catty, etc.

There’s A LOT more to this, but I’ll leave at this.

4. Pride and Joy in the success of others.

I want to practice being truly happy for the success and accomplishments of others.  This past weekend, I attended a friends debut fashion show, and visited two friends at their new homes.  One had a beautiful 2-garage 4BDR house in the suburbs of DC.  The other had a chic, modern condo right in the City—a great place for a young couple to be.  I was brimming with excitement for all three friends–I was truly proud of them.

If we’re honest, when others succeed, two destructive thought patterns tend to fester.  Either we feel some resentment or hostility for the persons success, or we beat ourselves up for not being ‘good enough’.  Both mindsets are harmful if allowed to take root.  I’m striving to make sure I don’t dwell in either headspace.

I view the success of others as an inspiration, and I am grateful to have close examples of the possibilities that life offers.  Besides, even from a purely selfish perspective, you should want friends to succeed.  If you have friends with money, friends that can open up different social circles from what you have, that are well networked, etc, that enriches your life and offers the potential for future opportunity.   Don’t hate!

5. Bullshit doesn’t concern me.

Basically by bullshit I mean trivialities that don’t matter that we worry about anyway.  Like worrying about the order in which cc’s appear in an office e-mail.   Or wondering if person X will hate you if you don’t invite them to your party—something that’s not under your control.   Worry should be reserved for events that deserve worry.

In this I’m including stuff like celebrity gossip, and entertainment awards, and reality TV.  Mild curiosity is ok—but being emotionally invested in this stuff is really pointless.

6. Nobody’s better than me, but I’m not better than anyone either.

I’m working on not being intimidated by status.  Status can be very intimidating and turn people into supplicating suck-ups.  That status can be from fame, from an authority position, or in the case of women it can be from looks (how many times have we men been guilty of doing something for a girl ONLY because she was very attractive?).   If status intimidates you, the sinister flipside is that by definition, you’d also expect others to bow down to you.   If you think others are better than you then you subscribe to a hierarchical world view in which just the way you see some above you, you see some below you.

How do you treat service personnel?  Do I ever find myself thinking, “I’m above, this person talking to me like that”? etc.  At work when you walk past people of a lower seniority do you ignore them, but always greet people who are senior to you?

These are principles that I’m going to strive to refocus my life on.

Ever have any dreams that capture your imagination always, that you have a burning desire for? They do not even have to make sense, but it can just be something that’s personal to you.  They don’t even have to be altruistic (though if one has many dreams, accomplishing them usually ends up involving other people and often can end up being altruistic by adding value). Just something waiting for you in the future that will make you happier.  This does not mean you are unsatisfied now.

See there’s living in the now, and I fully believe happiness is found in the present.  This idea that I will only be happy when something else happens is not good.  However, having goals and dreams does not go against this.  Dreams and goals keep you focused, and in fact they inject life and purpose in your every day activities—in the now.  You find that little actions you take frequently have an underlying charge of excitement (rather than a burden of duty, or boredom).   If one has dreams, goals, etc that make your life right NOW stressful, perhaps one should reevaluate the goal.  For example, if you’re a student and you find yourself often upset at how much work you have to do, or that you have to study late, etc, probably you should quit school (serious).  If you had a dream to be an astronomer, you’d relish the grind of those late night studying galaxies and stars.

Something else I’d like to plead to readers is to please never outgrow your dreams.   I often hear of people saying, “I’m too old to….” Or “I’m to busy too…..” please don’t do that yourself!   To do so is to make the Pymalgion Effect work against you.

Consider this a more practical or scientific explanation of how the "Law of Attraction" works.

Lastly, as this post is about dreams, I want to share some of mine.   How they’ll happen I have no idea, but the how always manifests itself.  Intent, vision and desire is the important part.  Here are some things that get me going:

I want to DJ a house party or a club. There’s something about being behind the turntable spinning House, Drum’n’Bass or Lounge music that I just want to do one day.  I don’t know when I buy a house one day perhaps I’ll have a huge house party and spin a House set.   This is a modest goal, I’m not saying I want to be Van Buuren or anything but I want to spin J  Funny thing is I’ve never even played with a DJ set or turntable and I know nothing about the equipment.

Related to the above, I also want to craft a soundtrack or a score to an anime, or a film. My brother and one of my best friends both work with graphics, perhaps they’ll let me put up a score for them one day.  Anyone watched Tron: Legacy or the Social Network? Killer soundtracks by Daft Punk and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails respectively.

I want to visit the Northern lights in Norway. It can be done in Alaska too, but Norway is my preference—I hear one can do a snow safari while there, cruise the landscape on a snowmobile under the emerald sky!  Wow.

I want to drive through some winding hills in Europe such hills in Tuscany (Italy), Spain or the German heartland.

I want to watch a European football game, in a European stadium.  I support Liverpool FC, so Anfield in Liverpool, England is my top choice but I’ll settle for any place in Germany, England, Italy or Spain in a packed stadium.  I plan to get a taste of what that might be like by attending a Barcelona vs.  Manchester United exhibition match this summer in the Washington DC.

And that’s it.  Just a few random things that I really want to do.  Keep in mind, some stuff gets accomplished.  Some stuff gets added as one lives their life.  It’s an evolving list. What about you? What gets you going?

In the final post of the “New Years” posts, I’ll talk about New Years Resolutions.

The end of the year tends to be a time of reflection and that’s what I’ll do.  I would be interested in hearing from friends about their year as well. How are you guys doing? How was 2010?

Today, I will share the two achievements from the year and also some lessons learned.  It was a considerably ‘quieter’ year than 2009 for reasons blogged here (check out the archives on my blog posts from 2009).  There was no major events like “buying a house”, or getting married, or having a baby (right now I know at least TEN of my friends either have babies less than a year old or are pregnant), so I’ll just share a material achievement, then something a little more substantive I suppose.

The coolest thing I bought was a ride and of course driving a car is not a big deal, there’s many people that have better cars than the one I got or that have multiple cars.  What made it satisfying was that it was the exact car I’d been wanting a while, that I’d had pictures of the car up on the fridge for about 2 years.  The world wouldn’t have ended if I didn’t get it but it was still a nice to actually pick up one.  And also I love it when dreams are realized, I spent Christmas Eve at a friends place and over dinner the group of us were chatting about that, someone was describing how they’d always wanted a Jaguar–and then his eyes lit up as he described in detail how now that he has it, he likes to teach Fast & Furious wannabee kids lessons on speed racing with his “silver bullet” .  He also spoke of driving along the coastal highway in Florida, and I was imagining how the water must glisten like it is paved with crystals on a sunny day….it was a very nice chat we enjoyed that evening, and it got me thinking how it’s always cool when anyone does or gets something they’ve been waiting for.

A more impactful accomplishment though was being admitted into a post-graduate program. Honestly, I was not sure I would make the cut, plus I had some hesitancy over going back to school this late.  But, there’s a few areas of professional expertise professionally that I’d like to attain, so this  had to be done, plus it’s better to try than to not, and to feed hope than doubt.  I want to do some things within the field of international affairs that will facilitate travelling, while also allowing me to contribute something to a bigger cause. I wont’ pretend to have articulated exactly what that cause is, but it will develop.

Now for lessons learned in 2010, there’s three lessons that stood out. First the value of asking for help, then how to put setbacks in perspective, and finally, living & accepting your life.

First, it’s ok to ask for help. Sometimes there is a tendency to feel pained to ask for a favor like we’re cringing inside.  That’s why people often start off asking favors by saying, “Sorry to bother you….” –why is it ‘bothering’ someone to ask a favor?  Ask! Most achievements are not solo acts in that there is usually some contribution by others.  Think of a pilot.  Yes a pilot will fly a plane from London to Washington, DC, but he has a copilot, and the flight controllers and radar on the ground.

On this lesson it is necessary to clarify that asking for help doesn’t absolve one from personal responsibility.   Asking for help is only if I’m doing my part too and second that I accept that no one single person is obligated to help me. It is not ok to expect welfare.  Ever told someone where you work and then they said, “hey man. Get me a job there?” Not “how can I work there or in a place like that?”, but “GET ME” a job?  The other part about asking for help is just because I ask someone for help doesn’t mean that they have to.  I’ve improved in not taking it personally when a request for help is turned down.  The good news is that in my experience, there are enough people who really love to help others achieve, so help is available if we look.

A second lesson for me is that temporary setbacks are not the same as ultimate defeat. If there is something you want to accomplish, it is not a disaster if it does not happen exactly when you thought it will.  This year (2010) I moved into an apartment I had wanted to move to three years ago but had not been able to at the time.  I still moved and I was able to sort a few things out that had been holding me back before.  This is all about having perspective.  Life charted on a graph would be an oscillation of (seemingly) random up and down patterns. A victorious high one day, and a depressing funk another day.  However, if the general direction  is trending upwards (i.e. positive) it is important that we not get too depressed by the dips which do and will happen.

The graph is trending upwards even if individual points are scattered.

The final lesson that stuck with me is to work on my own goals and timeline, not on others goals on their timelines. “Do you” is how people say it, and it is absolutely true. This is not some contrarian crusade, I’m not saying to become gothic for no reason.  I’m in the last year of my 20s, and I often get lots of (not so) subtle advice on certain milestones I “should” be looking at achieving. Most of the pressure is because of social conditioning, there is this idea that certain events must happen when you hit a certain age and really the only reason for that is because well  “that’s what everybody does”.   You know the all-american dream? Go to school, get a good job, get married, have 2 kids, buy a 2 car garage house, go on vacation once a year (and it must be exactly two weeks), live happily ever after, etc. F*@k that.  If it’s what you want good, if it isn’t then, well, “do you!”  There’s a girl I work with who is approaching her mid-30s.  She’s single, unmarried, and she’s way overqualified for her job in the conventional sense.  But she’s traveled to all continents, made friends in all sorts of places and she keeps adding destinations to the places she’s been.  A true global citizen.  When I was going to college, I had a friend that skipped college and went to wrestling school instead.  I admire them for following their calling.  We’re not barbie dolls, we are people with unique aspirations.  Standing firm on this sense is not easy to do as  the social pressure to conform is immense–try being an unmarried lady at 30.

So there! I hope your 2010 has been a good year, and that you had great experiences and learned some things too.  I’ll end with this from one of my favorite films: